Surviving Lock Down So many times we have said to ourselves ‘wouldn’t it be lovely to not have work and just be home together’. What we didn’t reckon on is being in lock down, in our houses with our children and trying to work too!! Here’s how we can help ourselves:
Own your grumpiness
It’s a weird time for us all. You will have days where you are going to just feel meh! We need to OWN IT. If you feel cross with your significant other, before reacting have a moment to pause and reflect if it’s them that you are cross with or are you feeling trapped/insecure/anxious about the situation we are in. It’s the latter then just say it. Say – I’m sorry, I’m feeling grumpy/irritable today and it’s not your fault. Hold your hands up and then communicate that you need 10 minutes timeout – like you would give a child to just get a breath. If you can and if it’s practical, stand by a window or door to get some daylight or better still stand in your garden or yard.
Differentiate your weekdays and weekends
So with this it’s easier said than done! BUT, you can do it, it just takes some planning. First, look at what you have to do during the week, Monday to Friday. If you are both working from home that gives you a routine to start with, then break down how this will be balanced out if you need to look after children too. Then list everything else that needs to happen – eating and getting out for an hour a day. Once you have an idea of what the weekdays look like, then look at the weekends. What would you usually do? If it’s going out for food, how about planning a proper meal together. Play with the kids – there are loads of ideas out there on the web. If you are missing socialising how about organising something via online video calls with friends and or family. It’s important to make the weekends feel like weekends!!
Divide your skills to your advantage
We naturally all have something we are better at than the other person in our house. One of you may be brilliant at cooking whilst the other is ace at laundry, or one is great at gardening and one is great at physical stuff. Use these skills to get stuff done. You can use these to entertain the children too. If one of you isn’t bothered by mess then maybe they can supervise the crafting, if the other one is great at the gym maybe they could organise circuits for the children (or all of you) to complete in the garden or the lounge!
Respect one another
For some of us our partners are still going into work. This leaves the other side at the coal face of family life. Both roles have their own unique sets of stresses. If the one of you that goes to work drives or cycles – remember you have time to process your day whilst you do your daily commute, your partner hasn’t had that. Equally if you are the one that is at home you have been able to eat when you want, go for a walk or catch some telly – your partner hasn’t. Talk about this NOW!! Talk about how you are both feeling with respect and love. Listen to how each other are feeling and what you both need to keep things ticking over and avoiding huge confrontations or bitterness and resentment. The world is changing beyond our control. We can’t change that but we can change how you react.
Time & Space
Time and space can be defined by all sorts. If you are feeling irritated or annoyed, go and sit in another room, read a book, look through your phone, anything rather than over think what is happening. Whilst humans are mostly pack animals we are also individuals and so needing space without someone near you is reasonable. Be respectful of how you communicate this, and also make sure that the other person is also getting what they need too.
We can do this whole lock down thing, we need to adjust – it really is that simple. If you need help in these times as a couple get in touch, I am running sessions via Zoom and am offering 30 minute sessions for £30.00. www.rebeccaspittles.com